Carrie, the little girl, and I.

Carrie whispers
all her secrets to me.
Under the cover of the stars,
and the copse of trees.

She tells me she's not all right,
I close my eyes,
turn towards the night,
and hope she's speaking lies.

Daddy's drinking more,
Momma's drinking less.
The worst secret of all,
lies in the alchohol breath.

Carrie hugs herself,
and now I can see.
The bruises are there from "falling",
the scars finally visible to me.

I begin to cry,
because I don't know what to do.
Carrie starts comforting me,
and I had the strangest sense of dejavu.

Because she had always done this,
made me feel better when I could feel nothing at all.
Being the person to me,
I should have been to her all along.

So I turn and hug her,
assuring her I'm here.
We cry together,
and that's how I know this is real.

It's not something I can run from,
or close my eyes and forget.
Somehow I had been doing that all along,
and I'm beginning to feel regret.

Then Carrie looks at me,
with her tear-stained face.
Those gray eyes so tired,
but she's not even close to winning this race.

Suddenly she grabs my hands,
and looks at my ring.
The Sacred Heart of Jesus
sitting there, glistening.

She begins to shake,
and I ask if she's okay.
She replies she will be.

She asks if we can pray.

--~--

Today I watch her,
sitting in a pew.
She has been born again,
the smile on her face brand new.

She sings Amazing Grace
with the same voice she whispered with long ago.
She tells me she saved me,
But that's not the truth, I know.

That wasn't me,
not at all.
It was Him.
He was picking her up,
and carrying her,
all along.

I feel a pang of jealousy.
Because I was there too.
My sadness was in my heart,
I thought He knew.

She wasn't the only one,
who needed to be saved.
There was a little girl left alone,
standing beside a grave.

In it buried
were her hopes and dreams,
along with her mother,
and her silent screams.

Something broke that day,
The little girl can't say why.
Everytime she sees a cross,
something in her dies.

He didn't save her mom,
not like he could have.
She prayed and prayed and prayed,
all the while believing.

And that night,
When Carrie broke down and cried,
She finally had hope,
she finally saw the light.

She saw Carrie picked up,
saved from further beating.
Saved from the sadness,
and the heart left bleeding.

The little girl beside her,
opened up her arms.
Waiting to be saved as well,
Hoping it wouldn't be long.
--~--

Now I,
sitting in the pew,
realize what it is
the little girl must do.

The little girl has to grow up,
and ask for help,
here and today.

Carrie sits beside me,
and tells me it's allright.
Comforting me yet again,
telling me I can fight.

As a tear rolls down my face,
she finally understands.
That same tear fell from her eyes,

and then,

Carrie holds my hands.
Then, I find the strength to say.

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found. Was blind, but now I see."