REBELS!

Here we are,
the mighty S.F.R!
We're here to show the spirit of us all;
With grit and strength,
just watch us and you'll see,
we're true rebels,
we fight for victory!

Knowing Me

You know if I'm happy,
or if I'm pretending to be.
You know all this with a single glance,
you know me.

I can't say it's a strength,
more of a downfall.
You may notice things you wish hadn't,
after climbing over that wall.

I'm sorry in advance
for the acting ability I don't possess,
and that I wish I could be better,
this I confess.

Better;
I wish I could be;
But now your greatest weakness
is knowing me.

Dreams

Sing me a lullaby,
right here
tonight.

Something sweet
and terrible.
But beautiful,
and daring.

About the girl
who gets up after being knocked down
time and time again.

About the boy who endures all
accepts nothing,
and won't ever fall.

The child who grows up too fast,
the one who will never come in last.

Of running and never looking back,
not missing what we had.

Of being heard,
and being loud,
being happy
and being proud.

Of catching stars,
and leading nations.
Of ending wars
and much elation.

Sing me something
to make my dreams happy.
Maybe
one day they'll be
reality.

You

Hold me in Your hands,
lift me up with You.

Hide me here,
and keep me safe
in all that I do.

I tend to fall alot,
so I am quite happy
you're the one
my misfortune caught.

Remind me you're here
with a word or two in my heart.

I'll thank you at the end of the day
and every start.

Blessings are many with me,
I just forget to count.
Now I see,
with crystal clarity.

I'm here because of You,
for You,
with You.

And always
I thank You.

(:

Canada

I hear Canada is still nice,
and the mounties don't know anything.
I'm all out of advice,
and I think the country would be pretty, come spring.

(:

20 Years From Now

20 years from now,
where we will be?
Come back to this place,
and then you'll see.

Will we be crazy?
Will be gone?
Will we be together?
Or alone?

Will we have accomplished what we wanted to?
Will I be able to recognize you?

We'll reminisce on how great we were,
Laughter for sure.

If asked in 20 years,
what do you want,
see,
wish,
or who will you be?

People will list
all the things they want to do,

but

20 years from now,
all I want
is to still know you.

Mistaken

Mistakes are made
but why?

The lessons I've learned,
I'll be sure to apply.

One day maybe,
you'll look back and see.

Why exactly it was that you lost me.

It was when I stopped mattering,
that everything started shattering.

I can make my choices,
not mirroring yours.

I'm not the little girl I was,
who would blindly adore.

I see you for what you are,
and I hate it.

You don't care enough to change,
so why don't you just quit?

I don't need you,
and I speak for just myself.
It's now your move,
But I won't be waiting on the shelf.

Love...dead?

They say love has died.
If this is true,
why has no one cried?

Is it gone forever?
To return to us never?

Do you really believe this is true?
What in the world did they ever do to you?

My friend found the grave.
I just wish we had the chance
to save.

We are all given the chance
in the beginning.
So why don't we take it
and save ourselves all this begging?

I didn't want it to die,
and I don't think it did.
For it to have died,
it had to have really lived.

But most don't give it the chance;
they forget the steps of the dance.

I see it all around,
so why is it there in the ground?

It's the old couple
still holding hands.

It's the kids drawing hearts
together in the sand.

Fill me in on the story,
without the memento mori.

Did this person not believe enough,
and decided it was too rough?

Why not take another try
forgetting the tears they cry?

Cowardice is buried there,
not love.
It's still here,
alive and well,
never mind the tears.

The Towers

Blue
beautiful sky.
Birds
singing on high.

The towers stood tall,
no one expected them to fall.

Some jumped,
others didn't.
There was no way
to win it.

Up in a cloud,
smoke and dust.
Some screamed
that war
was a must.

Families left
to grieve.
The reasons why,
no one could conceive.

Tears
still fall,
this fall.
But closer we've become,
under this peacful sun.

Fall

Trees change your colors,
Summer fade to fall.
The weather grows colder,
I love it all.

Harvest time
and Halloween,
are some of
my favorite things.

Making a pile,
nice and tall,
then
jumping into it..
This is why I love fall. (:

Light

Put that bottle down,
it's not worth it
and you're going to drown.

That sharp edge
has no reason to find your wrist.
Why not?
A thousand reasons I could list.

We've so much more to live for,
so much more to gain.
How do we fight for what we believe in,
if we can't live through the pain?

Ending it now
is the easy way out.
So prove them wrong,
and come out of the fog.

How will you find love
if you're watching from above?

And how will you live
if there's no way for you to give?

Would you leave this world behind?
Leaving everyone else here
without you
blind?

Is it so bad
you just need out?
Then get out.
No one's keeping you here
you're just harboring doubt.

There's light at the end of the tunnel,
you just have to see it.
Open your eyes instead of the hate
then you might admit.

There's another way,
one not so permanent.
You just don't want to take it
so keep you'll just keep popping that 'supplement'.

I want you to make you listen,
but there's no way I can.
Put down the razor,
and give me your hand.

That bullet doesn't have your name inscribed,
those pills aren't prescribed.

I am sick of seeing you so sick,
so stand up out of the dirt
or not.
Take your pick.

I'll write 'love' on your arms,
to stop the harm.

I'll take the nightmares
so the burden we can share.

I can empathize and sympathize,
as long as you know

you

are

not

alone.

Those pills,
that razor,
the bullet,
are not your friends,
If you want to find out,
ask who would miss you
if you pulled it.

You see my point,
but you can't point.
Blaming someone
or yourself
only adds more problems to the shelf.

We've sat down here
in our sad feelings long enough.
It's time to get better,
but the healing I won't rush.

I'll wait days,
months,
years,
if it means I can see that smile again
between those ears.

Questions?

Wonder where you are
and what you're thinking.
Whether you feel like you're floating
or feel like you're sinking.

So many questions
I want to ask.
But I'm afraid you'll think I'm weird,
or just laugh.

Where are you going?
What are your plans?
Do you want to be here?
Or rather in the sand?

Do you ever cry?
Do you wish you could fly?

Who would you like to meet?
Are you creeped out by feet?

Are you running away from something?
Do you like to sing?

What are you most afraid of?
Do you believe in love?

See?
Don't you find me strange?
Something I wish I could change.
Not really,
but if you could,
what would you change?

What's your favorite color?
What's your most hated word?
What's the funniest thing
you've ever heard?

I suppose I'll stop with the questions for now,
you don't have to answer.
Just random thoughts
on what I'm always thinking about. (:

Safe Heart

No where is safe,
this I've learned.
Here you'll stay,
or you won't return.

Nothing is worth
that goodbye.
So you're never leaving
my sight.

Oh, heart,
I won't let you be torn apart.

Again.

It was my fault,
I was careless,
reckless,
an affectionate mess.


I thought I knew enough;
We should have known I didn't,
and we were never that tough.

So stay here,
safe and sound.
You'll never be lost,
but,
also,
never found.

I am..

inspired,

loud,

weird,

laughing,

fun,

maybe funny?

Sometimes sad,

usually glad
to be alive.

Godmother,

Godchild,

Niece

and daughter.

Creative,

a dreamer,

musical,

listening
most of the time.

Confused
sometimes,

worried
sometimes.

Feeling awkward,
or excited,

halfway confident
the other half
self-conscious

and

nervous.

Waiting for time
to move faster

or wishing it would
move slower.

Replaying moments
or hours
in my head,
hoping
to never forget.

Remembering,
and forgetting,
caring
and
never regretting.

A writer,
kind of.

Without scheme,
wishing I had one.

Planning for the future,
wondering if I'll make it there.

Making no sense,
to anyone but myself.

Thinking that that's
totally okay
because I get me.

wondering if I really get me..
or...
am I
none of the above,
and just looking at
what I wish I were?

For Amie June(:

Hold my hand,
but not too tight.
I want to fly,
just not too far tonight.

Remind me you're here,
every now and again.
Not because I forget,
but because I need a friend.

Keep me close,
and never far,
Recount every memory,
but never erase the scars.

Run with me,
but remind me to walk.
Leave me when I ask,
and but never leave me in shock.

Cry with me,
but never too long,
and when I forget,
sing me back my heart song. (:

So Unfair

Brown hair,
Brown eyes,
You call me beautiful,
I can see through the lies.

There's no need for flattery,
I honestly don't care.
You already have me,
And it's so unfair.

I never wanted this,
Still don't.
So stop playing prince.
I won't fall for you.
I won't.

We both know it's not true.
Act as though it is.
I've already fallen for you,
And there is nothing I can do.

Carrie, the little girl, and I.

Carrie whispers
all her secrets to me.
Under the cover of the stars,
and the copse of trees.

She tells me she's not all right,
I close my eyes,
turn towards the night,
and hope she's speaking lies.

Daddy's drinking more,
Momma's drinking less.
The worst secret of all,
lies in the alchohol breath.

Carrie hugs herself,
and now I can see.
The bruises are there from "falling",
the scars finally visible to me.

I begin to cry,
because I don't know what to do.
Carrie starts comforting me,
and I had the strangest sense of dejavu.

Because she had always done this,
made me feel better when I could feel nothing at all.
Being the person to me,
I should have been to her all along.

So I turn and hug her,
assuring her I'm here.
We cry together,
and that's how I know this is real.

It's not something I can run from,
or close my eyes and forget.
Somehow I had been doing that all along,
and I'm beginning to feel regret.

Then Carrie looks at me,
with her tear-stained face.
Those gray eyes so tired,
but she's not even close to winning this race.

Suddenly she grabs my hands,
and looks at my ring.
The Sacred Heart of Jesus
sitting there, glistening.

She begins to shake,
and I ask if she's okay.
She replies she will be.

She asks if we can pray.

--~--

Today I watch her,
sitting in a pew.
She has been born again,
the smile on her face brand new.

She sings Amazing Grace
with the same voice she whispered with long ago.
She tells me she saved me,
But that's not the truth, I know.

That wasn't me,
not at all.
It was Him.
He was picking her up,
and carrying her,
all along.

I feel a pang of jealousy.
Because I was there too.
My sadness was in my heart,
I thought He knew.

She wasn't the only one,
who needed to be saved.
There was a little girl left alone,
standing beside a grave.

In it buried
were her hopes and dreams,
along with her mother,
and her silent screams.

Something broke that day,
The little girl can't say why.
Everytime she sees a cross,
something in her dies.

He didn't save her mom,
not like he could have.
She prayed and prayed and prayed,
all the while believing.

And that night,
When Carrie broke down and cried,
She finally had hope,
she finally saw the light.

She saw Carrie picked up,
saved from further beating.
Saved from the sadness,
and the heart left bleeding.

The little girl beside her,
opened up her arms.
Waiting to be saved as well,
Hoping it wouldn't be long.
--~--

Now I,
sitting in the pew,
realize what it is
the little girl must do.

The little girl has to grow up,
and ask for help,
here and today.

Carrie sits beside me,
and tells me it's allright.
Comforting me yet again,
telling me I can fight.

As a tear rolls down my face,
she finally understands.
That same tear fell from her eyes,

and then,

Carrie holds my hands.
Then, I find the strength to say.

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found. Was blind, but now I see."

Soldier Boy

Darling darling,
what's wrong,
why can't you tell me?

Are you afraid I won't understand,
that I won't see?

Oh.
You've enlisted..
How could you have?
It's dangerous..
Why didn't you just listen?

You're leaving me,
here,
on my own?

I suppose,
I should've guessed,
it's not like it wasn't always known.

Always talking about fighting,
I have no idea why.
I should have listened more carefully,
but I would still cry.

Goodbye comes and goes,
so does he.

Soldier boy, Soldier boy has left me here,
the future I can't foresee.

Fighting for peace,
it seems funny.
It's a cause he cares about
even it's just for the puppet masters with money.


The letters come and go
as quickly as he did.

Trying to stop him would have been redundant,
even if his actions I forbid.

I listen to news headlines,
and for the phone to ring.

I do my part,
raise the flag,
the Star-Spangled Banner I sing.

But the inevitable
comes for
the Soldier Boy..

A knock on the door,
a telegraph given,
knees hit the floor,
hoping for a different message hidden

in the words

Soldier boy isn't coming home,
the light diminished that he once shone.

It's funny,
a boy who fights for the peace.
He found it at last,
at the cost,
no one could have known.

Soldier boy, Soldier Boy
fought for peace,
a great light diminished,
never again to be shone.

His hope for peace
lying beneath
the dirt and stone.

Happy Birthday

It's been too long,
that I know.
But I feel the memory slipping...
I don't want them to go.

Dad's best friend,
inevitably ours too.
We all had so much fun,
and,
I miss you.

Playing outdated video games,
You introduced us to Beavis and Butthead.
Kept us laughing for hours,
how could I ever forget?

Happy Birthday,
we'll celebrate when I get there too.

Beavis and Butthead marathon,
laughing at them all night long.

Cardinals will win the game.
I can imagine the Cubs shirt aflame. (:

Flashlight tag as long as we like,
I'll even be 'it'.
Just don't hide anywhere too hard,
or I might have to quit. (:

Someday, we'll celebrate the greatest birthday ever.
For right now,
I hope you're smiling,
In that beautiful heaven.

Watch out for us,
like you've always done.
Happy Birthday,
have some fun. (:

For Eric Alan Cape <3

"I see myself as a huge feiry comet, a shooting star. Everyone stops, points up and gasps "Oh! Look at that!" Then -whoosh, and I'm gone..and they'll never see anything like it ever again...and they won't be able to forget me-ever."
-Jim Morrison